Weight

I know that this weight is my me being afraid. Afraid to try and have a "relationship" with a man. Relationship is a freaking loaded word. I do want one, though. If I can lose the weight, not have to worry about how I and others see myself, it will be a huge step forward. I am working on myself in different ways. The writing being the biggest part of it.

But -- I need to work on the pairing issue. That's so important. Not just important. Necessary to survival. I get so lonely sometimes. Not as bad as it used to be, with my writing to lean on. But I still feel it. Has gotten to where every time I look at a man, I look at him in terms of a possible relationship, the pluses and minuses. And that's not good. I want to look at them in terms of being a person, not a potential mate. Working on that.