Middle Ground

I don't think I have one. A middle ground, that is. I'm either speedy and yappy or massively depressed. A lot of depression lately. All I really want to do is lie on my bed and stare at the t.v. Sleep. The thought of getting up in the morning and going to work really depresses me. What keeps me going is knowing that I'm good at my job and the day will go quickly when (not if) I get into it. I focus and the calls come. I solve their problems and all is well. I know that a lot (if not all) of the depression comes from the weight. How I look and feel and not taking any control over it. I know that if I can get a grip, lose the weight, start taking control, I'll start feeling a lot better. Each day will be a little better because I won't be feeling like a complete slug. What I need is a therapist. I talk to Zen, which helps, but I don't think it's really fair to him. Maybe this blog. Keep talking to it. Then I won't feel like bending his ear all the time. I yack, yack, yack, when I'm driving him to work. He can't get away. What's he going to do, jump out? Not fair to him. Definitely. I'll work on bending the blog's ear more.