Leigh Ann

Reality T.V.

2012-02-15T17:04:00.001-08:00

Every time I see a commercial for those jerseylicious idiots or real housewife fools, I just want to grab a gun and open up.

They are proof positive that the networks aim at the lowest common denominator.

Sunday

2012-02-05T04:53:00.001-08:00

Woke up to rain this morning. Teddie and Henry are playing Turnaround. She chases, he chases, you get it. They're so sweet together. I really think he's good for her. She's mellowing.

Fucking weird

2012-02-04T23:54:00.000-08:00

I don't get it. Why don't people review my stories? They're reading them, I can see that by my stats. But they don't review, at least not many of them. Maybe that's not important, I'm writing for myself, not for anyone else. But it's puzzling and a little hurtful.

I review all the time, most of the time, even if it's just something simple like good story. But though Balls 2!'s numbers are decent, if not inspiring, very few people are reviewing it.

Well, it's a good thing I'm not writing for anyone but myself or I'd be really fucking depressed. And it's not just because it's a drabble. Same thing with my longer stuff. People read the hell out of it, they just don't review.

Just gonna have to accept it. But hell.

Weight

2012-02-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

I know that this weight is my me being afraid. Afraid to try and have a "relationship" with a man. Relationship is a freaking loaded word. I do want one, though. If I can lose the weight, not have to worry about how I and others see myself, it will be a huge step forward. I am working on myself in different ways. The writing being the biggest part of it.

But -- I need to work on the pairing issue. That's so important. Not just important. Necessary to survival. I get so lonely sometimes. Not as bad as it used to be, with my writing to lean on. But I still feel it. Has gotten to where every time I look at a man, I look at him in terms of a possible relationship, the pluses and minuses. And that's not good. I want to look at them in terms of being a person, not a potential mate. Working on that.

Treadmill

2012-02-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

It'll be here on Monday, take another week to get it set up. I can't wait. I really, really want to start using it. I need to drop this weight and get strong. I plan to live a long, LONG time and I want to take care of myself as long as I can. The thought of being crippled and or sick and old and having to be taken care of is anathema to me. Can't bear it.

vacation time - almost

2012-02-02T13:03:00.001-08:00

I'm taking five days, which with my regular days will give me nine days. It's hard getting through these last few days, knowing that those nine days are coming soon. I'm not going to do anything beyond household stuff and write. That's it.

What's up with this happy shit?

2012-01-26T20:51:00.001-08:00

I've been noticing myself doing a lot of spontaneous laughing the last several months. Not chortling or giggling or any of that shit. Out and out laughing. Laughing! Just from being happy. Very unusual for me. I've never been what you could call a happy person, but the last year, since I've started writing regularly, everything has changed.

Looking up at the sky, seeing those huge flocks of birds, a triangle of geese heading wherever the hell they're heading, watching Teddie and Max play. I'm just freaking happy. And it's a lot of the time.

I'm sitting here thinking, yeah, I'm happy and I'm not going to second-guess it. I'm going to enjoy it, let it carry me gently along, or not so gently, depending on the situation. It feels wonderful. Like being stoned, except no loss of brain.

This ain't freaking Capistrano

2012-01-14T17:51:00.000-08:00

What's up with the birds this week?

Every day this last week, when I leave work, there are thousands, THOUSANDS, of birds in the sky overhead. Huge clouds of them sweeping across the sky, first in this direction, then taking off into another. Breaking up into smaller groups, then coming together again. Taking up posts in the trees -- trees absolutely filled with them -- then breaking into flight again and then settling again onto the telephone lines.

Unbelievably beautiful. Have to be really careful to not drive right off the road. All I want to do is stand there and stare.

Never Believed In Happily Ever After, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2012-01-13T18:03:00.000-08:00

Never Believed In Happily Ever After, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

This is a great story. Jodi finding out about Bobby's death. Made me cry, of course. I miss Bobby so much.

Obi the Kid

2012-01-07T16:52:00.000-08:00

Obi writes some really good SUPN fic. Found out today she also does Cal Leandros. Excellent! Since I'm a newbie Thurman addict, really looking forward to branching out into that new line of fan fic. Don't know if I'll ever write any, probably not, but I'm going to have a lot of fun reading it!

Fast Eddie's

2012-01-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

Rob and Melissa took me to Fast Eddie's today. The shrimp, as promised, was awesome. Big and succulent. Loved it. The margaritas were awesome. I had three of them and spent the next few hours in a lovely haze. The waitress said that they made the margaritas with a mix called Chi Chi's. I am totally going to buy a bottle of that. Yummy.

But -- that place was so loud. LOUD I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time there. It was a luxury to go outside, revel in the silence.

Freaking Awesome!

2012-01-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth Rose had her first swimming lesson today. It was so much fun. Sixteen months old, she's being held up by her daddy, kicking her chubbette little legs, splashing the water, laughing, having a high old time. She's a natural, a real water baby. She didn't even mind being ducked under the water. What a cutie.

Carol

2012-01-05T08:01:00.000-08:00

Carol looks like hell. Every time I see her, it's worse. I saw her yesterday and was shocked at how fast she's gone downhill. Turns out she has Parkinson's. I never knew that before. It explains how she could have changed so much over the last year. It's amazing and horrifying and scary.

Fuck It

2012-01-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

Why do I keep getting depressed? Because my life isn't perfect? Because I'm not perfect? Because I keep making the same stupid mistakes over and fucking over again? Yeah, that must be it.

Fuck it. I should have it tattooed on my forehead.

Okay, fuck this!

2012-01-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

I've been starving myself and that stupid fucking scale says I've gained seven pounds in two days? Clearly, it is possessed by the devil! I just tossed the fucker in the trash and I SWEAR TO GOD I will never buy another! I'm just gonna go by how I feel.

SCREW THE SCALE!

Ha!

2012-01-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

Rob and Melissa are watching Supernatural! They finished off season one in one weekend and are already working on season two! Excellent! Which means I've got new people to talk to about my obsession. Excellent twice!

Junkyard Dog Chapter 4, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-12-04T19:20:00.000-08:00

Junkyard Dog Chapter 4, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Supernatural Born Killers Chapter 1, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-26T17:15:00.000-08:00

Supernatural Born Killers Chapter 1, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

This is an awesome story. Well-written, dark, sexy. Incredible job.

Twisted Chapter 7, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-26T11:38:00.000-08:00

Twisted Chapter 7, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Worst Fear Chapter 6, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-26T11:37:00.000-08:00

Worst Fear Chapter 6, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

New e/o challenge word is Curl

2011-11-20T18:11:00.001-08:00

Posted this week's drabble on ff.net. Title is My Hero. Cause who wouldn't want to be rescued by a Winchester?

Junkyard Dog

2011-11-20T18:10:00.002-08:00

Chapter Two is up!

Your Highness

2011-11-20T18:10:00.001-08:00

Watched this today, primarily because Natalie Portman was in it. Sucked.

Angel, My Ass, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-13T17:21:00.000-08:00

Angel, My Ass, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Drabbles are not only fun, they are great practice for getting ideas, images, happenings to work in a very small space.

Ed and Philip

2011-11-13T07:19:00.001-08:00

They are going to take such good care of Chico.Great guys.And total mush balls, which is just what he needs.

Chico

2011-11-13T05:42:00.001-08:00

Chico's going to his new home today. I love the little bugger but I'm glad he's going. The house will be much more peaceful, Teddie and Max less stressed out. And really, he's going to be way happy. Even before the home visit, I can tell he's going to be spoiled absolutely rotten.

Worst Fear Chapter 4, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

Worst Fear Chapter 4, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

I like this chapter.Think it came out pretty good.

Worst Fear Chapter 3, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Worst Fear Chapter 3, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

A Comedy of Errors, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

A Comedy of Errors, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

This is HELLA funny!

Worst Fear, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-11-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

Worst Fear, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Yeah, I know I said no more drabbles, but this bit me in the ass and wouldn't let go until I got it out.

WWW - Friday Night Smackdown

2011-11-04T18:01:00.001-07:00

Every time I'm unlucky enough to see part of one of their commercials or, God forbid, spend more than two seconds looking at the actual freaking show, all I can think is 'Oh God, help me, before I puke.'

Talk about the lowest fucking common denominator.

Thank God for remote controls.

Sick, ick, ick

2011-11-01T16:41:00.000-07:00

The universe must have been listening when I was bragging about never getting sick. I've had this freaking cold and sore throat for almost a damned week. It sucks!

My Boys Chapter 9: Hard Choices, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-10-30T19:59:00.000-07:00

My Boys Chapter 9: Hard Choices, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

My first new chapter for a couple of months - think it turned out pretty well. No monkey sex, the chapter was getting too long. Maybe next time! :)

Hell Night, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-10-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hell Night, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

This is my contribution to this week's E/O challenge. I think it's pretty freaking funny!

Welcome to the Stage

2011-10-30T05:02:00.001-07:00

Still getting used to how I share things from fanfiction.net. Welcome to the Stage is one of my favorite stories. Vickie is a great writer. The stories are engaging, the characters (SUPN AU) lots of fun. Great reading. :)

Welcome to the Stage Chapter 1, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-10-30T04:51:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Stage Chapter 1, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Cardinals

2011-10-29T09:38:00.001-07:00

To me the best thing about the Cardinals winning was the huge mob scene at the end. The team was so happy. Great to see all that joy!

Busy Weekend

2011-10-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Freckles is going to her new home. Blue and Brindy are both having visitors preparatory to hopefully being adopted. The cages are once again freaking FULL. Going to take Darkwing to the vet for shots and then drop her off at Petco. Then tomorrow Kelly is taking the two new little guys to the vet for shots. Hoping that she will be fostering them. We'll see.

Not going to see Elizabeth this weekend, though. I've got a pretty good cold going and I don't want her to get it. It comes with laryngitis. Have to try and get some rest, though. Want to be better when I go back to work on Tuesday. But want to write more.

Fireworks

2011-10-29T03:54:00.000-07:00

Lying in bed I heard fireworks. I'm guessing that means the Cards won the series.

Holy Fucking Hell!

2011-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

Sam found out about Amy and he is BEYOND pissed! He told Dean to leave! I was NOT expecting that!

And Padalecki Makes Three

2011-10-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

Jared and Genevieve are having a baby boy in about, what, five months. Amazing! I've been waiting to hear this since they got married. He's got DAD written all over him!

Welcome to the World, Amelia Kay!

2011-10-26T19:18:00.001-07:00

Shannon had her baby yesterday! 8.9 pounds. Beautiful little girl. Welcome!

Sharp Teeth by Toby Barlow

2011-10-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

Me: Hey, look, Ma! I’m reading poetry!
Mom: Oh, Leigh, I’m so proud!
Me: This is so cool! I love it!
Mom: What are you reading? Dickinson? Whitman? Angelou?
Me: Barlow!
Mom: Who?
Me: Toby Barlow, Mom! He’s awesome! He wrote this amazing book-length
narrative poem about werewolves in Los Angeles!
Mom: Um –
Me: Well, they’re not really werewolves! They’re shape shifters who can change
back and forth between human and dog!
Mom: Shape what?
Me: I am having so much fun reading this! I always thought poetry had to be
stiff and dry and boring, but it’s totally not true! This story is
mind-blowing! It’s got great characters and it’s so freaking real! I
couldn’t stop reading!
Mom: Sweetie --
Me: Reading Sharp Teeth is like having sex. It’s like having really good sex!
Mom: Leigh Ann Wallace!
Me: Oops, sorry, Mom! But seriously, you’ve got to read this! It’s totally
changed my ideas on poetry. I’m thinking I might break away from writing
short stories and write a narrative poem of my own!
Mom: Good poetry is inspiring, that’s true.
Me: So. Will you read it?
Mom: Do you promise no more sex talk?
Me: You got it.
Mom: Okay, then. I’ll read it.

HOLY SHIT!

2011-10-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

I just saw on Serge Ladouceur's website that he's going to be working on a Supernatural film. And it says soon.

I AM SO FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!

See, this is why I don't watch sports!

2011-10-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

World Series, up and down, down and up, back and forth with the freaking who's on first. Drives me nuts.

God, I love my laptop

2011-10-25T18:29:00.001-07:00

Writing on this thing is better than sex. Course it's been a millenia or so since I've actually had sex so could be remembering wrong. Heh.

Grover Blue

2011-10-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

We just got a great application in for Blue. It sounds perfect for him. A stay-at-home mom, working dad, kids. Fenced yard. Real dog lovers. I hope this works out. He's such a great dog, a great person. He needs a home and someone to love him.

Chico

2011-10-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

He's such a sweet dog. It's really hard having him around cause I'm starting to fall in love with him. It's going to be hard to let him go.

Courts of the Fey Anthology

2011-10-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

Courts of the Fey Anthology

Getting Out

2011-08-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

Don't like it, don't like it. Gonna give it six months, revise it. Thinking about pulling it off the site until I'm done.

ah

2011-08-25T04:19:00.000-07:00

New laptop coming. I am very happy. We'll see how it goes. I'm getting it from Amazon, where I have a card. I read the reviews and people seem happy with the model I got. It's got a cd and dvd burner and word, should be okay. But at least I won't be stuck with nothing if the old one dies. Then I'm going to take this one and get it fixed. Gotta have a backup.

bullshit

2011-07-18T03:55:00.000-07:00

I told myself for years that I didn't like music. Turns out that was b.s. I LOVE music. I was just busy turning my head off, listening to books on tape. When you listen to books on tape, you don't have to think, cause you're in that whole other world for as long as the tape runs.

When I started to write, I didn't need the bot anymore. Started listening to music. Turns out music is a great soundtrack to life.

This morning's soundtrack is Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon.

Sammy, Never Change, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-07-04T04:04:00.000-07:00

Sammy, Never Change, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

no fucking title

2011-07-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

I miss you so much, Riley. I was in the living room, closing things down for the night and I looked around for you. Cause you were supposed to be there. You aren't supposed to be dead. I am so sorry. I should have found a way. I hate myself for that. Until I die, I will remember holding you as you passed from this world. I used to think I didn't feel things, that there was something missing from me. It's not that I don't feel things. I feel them as much as anyone else. I just disconnect so I don't have to because it hurts too fucking much. I miss you so much.

Riley

2011-06-27T02:45:00.000-07:00

Riley was in my dream last night, a big part of it. I really miss her.

Whoosh!

2011-06-21T04:00:00.001-07:00

I slept like a rock. Tequila will do that for you. I had three shots when I came home last night. I think I won't do that again. I feel fine, but I went to bed at 9:30 cause I was so tired. Not drunk, just really relaxed and tired. A good thing, because I definitely needed the sleep. Been staying up too late reading and writing. I am gonna watch it with the tequila, though. I want to build up my tolerance so I can have it more often, cause I like it, but starting out with three shots? Not the way to go.

Apparently my stuff rocks

2011-06-20T19:27:00.001-07:00

Alyssa told me that I had some reviews for My Boys that I didn't even know I'd gotten. My e-mail alerts are going astray. I am going to keep track of my reviews page from now on. I feel so much better. I looked back through my reviews and saw that I've gotten TONS more than I realized. Read them and it was great. People do love my stuff. They do. I can go on now.

Viva Cuervo!

Insecurity

2011-06-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

I hate it that I don't feel right, wait, that I feel absolutely WRONG when I don't get reviews for my work. I'm not writing for anyone else, I write because it makes me feel whole, and alive. It's really the only thing that makes me not a waste of space. Why can't that be enough? Today was a horrible day. Depressing. I posted last night and hundreds, literally HUNDREDS of people read the story, but no reviews. What's up with that? HUNDREDS! And not one can hit the review button? Which makes me worry that they're not reviewing because it's shit and they can't be bothered.

(sigh)

I know it's not shit. I do. I know that there is always room for improvement, but I know it's not shit.

Last thing at work, I saw that someone had posted a review. They loved it. Big time. And I felt better instantly. That's so fucked up.

I felt even better when I got home and had a shot of gold, of course. I can see why people drink a lot. Takes the edge off. I've got to be careful. Not going to be a lush.

But not giving up Cuervo, either. Bottled sex.

weather

2011-06-18T04:00:00.001-07:00

another storm blowing through now. Lights keep flickering in the house. Lots of thunder and lightning outside. Lots of wind. Might be bad. We'll see.

My new love

2011-06-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

Jose Cuervo Especial. Holy crap. It's like drinking heaven. Seriously. And Rob tells me that's not even the best tequila. I find that hard to believe. It's so damned good. Gonna buy me a bottle next week. It's so smooth.

No No No!

2011-06-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Do NOT use whilst when you're writing. This is driving me absolutely batshit crazy. It is NOT a common usage word, it is never going to be again, STOP USING IT! OMG, why are so many people using this word! I am going to post something on my profile, something strong. ARGH!

IT SOUNDS STUPID BECAUSE IT IS!

WOW

2011-06-06T04:36:00.000-07:00

My numbers have really spiked since I started posting Wincest. And it's not just the porn they're reading. When they read the Wincest, they click on my other stuff as well. Nice.

PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID

2011-06-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

Some yahoos have been threatening to assault Misha at the convention. So now they've got security, tons of it, and cops, to make sure he's okay. Most likely, these assholes are just being assholes and not planning to actually do anything, but I'm glad that precautions are being taken.

I would like to separate these assholes from their spleens, without benefit of anesthesia.

Release your inner angst!

2011-06-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

Heh.

WTF?

2011-06-05T04:16:00.000-07:00

Dogs are barking like crazy, 5:30 in the morning. There are guys up on the roof, laying new shingles. SUNDAY MORNING! 5:30!!!!!!!

Okay, so they're probably just trying to avoid a massive heat stroke later in the day, but damn! My one day to sleep past six shot to SHIT!

holy cats!

2011-06-04T18:19:00.001-07:00

Jared is on Twitter! It's official, even saw him announce it at Nash Con. Didn't think he'd do it!

I'm doin' it

2011-05-31T16:00:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm gonna do it. I am posting Wincest. I cannot resist my disgusting urges any longer. I'm not even going to pretend that it's Sam and Gabriel or Dean and Castiel. It's Sam and Dean, ALL THE WAY! Whoo whoo!

Screw dignity, the hell with appropriate, hurray for incest! Oops, I mean Wincest. Hee hee. Just hope it doesn't suck.

Well . . .

Killing John

2011-05-31T04:07:00.000-07:00

New idea for a story, which will probably end up a short series. Will finish the first chapter today at work, probably post it tomorrow. I couldn't resist. After reading ff all weekend, it just makes me want to post more and more. Couldn't resist the title. Made me laugh, a lot.

Heh!

2011-05-31T04:05:00.000-07:00

When I went to pick up the guys at the airport last night, I forgot my keys. So when I got home, I popped the screen off the front window, dragged out a stool, got on top of the stool and climbed in the window. What a production! But -- I got in!

OMG

2011-05-30T05:28:00.001-07:00

Those idiots. Another fucking Law and Order marathon today. And of course they cancel SUPN's two eps. Reruns, yeah, seen 'em already, I know, but still. Boring!

Yes, I am an attention suck

2011-05-29T04:18:00.000-07:00

I always say I write for myself, and it's true, but I still LOVE it when I get feedback about my work. I always try to brace myself when I've got an e-mail, just in case, but I expect it to be good feedback, just because it's always been. Of course, even the slightest hint that there's something wrong makes me doubt myself.

What's true is that there is always room for improvement. Also true, I know that I never stop trying to be better. This is the one place that, so far, I appear to be pretty clean, in terms of honesty. So far.

Okay, this is better

2011-05-28T12:25:00.001-07:00

I want to keep this blog up. It's fun and it's good for me, writing-wise. So I'm going to make this my home page. That way it'll pop up whenever I turn on the computer. Don't want dead air.

The Fledgling

2011-05-28T12:22:00.001-07:00

Working on chapter 4 today. Harder than the last two series, because of the subject matter. It's good, I think, so far as it goes, can always be better, of course. But I want to finish the chap today. Probably three more chaps after that. Then a sequel, four, five years later, but not starting that for a few months. We'll see how it goes.

Oh boy!

2011-05-08T12:17:00.001-07:00

Started a new series, not sure about the name for it yet, but it's gonna be good. Gonna be AWESOME! Going to grab people by the throat and shake 'em like a dog with a rat!

Love it!

Journey Through Heaven and Hell

2011-05-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am so pleased and flattered. Someone read my stuff on FF.net and invited me to post on her website. It's called "A Journey Through Heaven and Hell", Supernatural fan fiction. Isn't that awesome?! I've looked at the site and it looks good, a little light on authors and stories, but that is probably just because it's a pretty new site. And I saw Crissi is there, and a couple others I know from FF.net, so I'm going to go ahead and register. And we'll see how it goes! Should be fun!

Bin Laden's Death

2011-05-02T06:05:00.001-07:00

There are some people saying that killing Bin Laden doesn't change the terrorism threat. Whether that's true or not, we sent out a big message. We don't quit. We will hunt until we get you. Personally, current terror threat assessment aside, I'm perfectly happy with revenge.

Tornado action

2011-04-28T04:18:00.001-07:00

It may be a pain in the ass not to have power for a few days, but we really got off lucky. News says almost 160 people killed this last week due to tornados. We didn't lose anyone here. Injuries, but no deaths.

about that last

2011-04-28T04:17:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure if that makes me a bad person, but it certainly makes me less.

Just thinking

2011-04-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

If the world exploded and all that was left was me and my typewriter, I could still be happy.

Writing

2011-03-31T20:48:00.001-07:00

I'm not on this website every day, but that's not altogether a bad thing, because I'm writing every damned day, just not here. And having a great time doing it. I feel more alive and happy right now than I've felt in years, maybe ever. And it's all the writing. If the world ended right now, I'd still have that.

I'm a little pissed

2011-03-31T20:46:00.001-07:00

Zen told me last night that Amanda has left him and wants a divorce. Stupid little girl has been married what, a year? It's getting too hard for her, she wants to "find herself". I'd like to find her. I'd like to remove her spleen and feed it to her.

Forgiven - Supernatural

2011-03-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

Supernatural It ends tonight NEW sam

2011-03-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

The Road So Far - Back in the Saddle

2011-03-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

Supernatural Beautiful Loser HD

2011-03-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3

2011-03-17T19:09:00.001-07:00

Just finished second draft of chapter 3. Should be able to finish it up tomorrow, post it tomorrow night.

Hey cool!

2011-03-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

I've figured out a way to save the cool videos from you tube. You can't copy them, or at least, I don't know how to do it. But I can link them to this page, then I can see them whenever I want!

Dean // Im not perfect

2011-03-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

Heart That Sits In Your Pocket

2011-03-17T16:54:00.000-07:00

Just posted chapter two!

2011-03-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

What a rush! I love it. Don't care that it's not "serious" writing. What the hell does that mean, anyway? I wrote it for fun and love. That's what's important. So much fun. Now time to start mapping out chapter 3.

Okay, I won't deny that I love the positive feedback and hope for more, but that's just the gravy, man, just the gravy.

Supernatural - Each Other

2011-03-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

FanFiction.net

2011-03-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

I really love this website. It is a place where I get to combine two of my best loves, writing and Supernatural. I am having SUCH a good time with writing. Sharing with the other writers is a kick, too.

I've gotten a couple of nice words from people about Changing and I really appreciate that. I sent reviews to some writers that I really like. But you know, it says on the website that constructive criticism is welcome too. I know how to tell someone that I like their work. But is it necessary to tell someone when I don't?

I know, I know. We need that input, otherwise we can't grow as writers. But I don't like hurting feelings. With most writers, their stories are their children (mine definitely are) and I -- okay let's pare this down to I'm a big freaking chicken!

Changing

2011-03-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

I posted the first section of a short story today on FanFiction.net. It's basically a place where, surprise, fans write fiction based on their favorite whatever. There is a TON of stuff there. TON! Some of it really good and some of it horrifically bad. And one thing I learned -- angst is very big among Supernatural fans. Especially angst connected with Sam. I get that, I really, really do. Cause I like it too. But I gotta say, with some of those examples to look at, I am going to have to watch myself, make sure I don't get carried away in to what is basically a masturbatory sob fest.

Anyway, doing it because it's fun. If people like it, good. If not, no worries. Doing it for me. Love to write. Love Supernatural. Good fit.

Fantasy and Fun

2011-03-07T12:55:00.000-08:00

I posted J&G's picture and I'm thinking, well, is this weird? Then I'm thinking, no. It's not necessarily weird. I don't think it's even stalkerish. After all, it's my blog, my website, whatever. Shouldn't I have things on here that please me, that make me happy. I'm thinking yes.

It pleases me, very much, to see these two people happy, together, in love. It's not something that I am every likely to experience, so I will look at it here, with them. And remember that happy endings do happen.

Ahhhh .....

2011-03-07T12:50:00.001-08:00

I am giving myself permission to obsess. Not over food, or drink, chocolate, books, movies, etc. But over Supernatural. I will no longer be embarrassed, will try to conduct myself with as much decorum as possible, except when among my fellow obsessors, and will have a REALLY GOOD TIME!

Sheri Tepper, "Beauty"

2011-03-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

"We have been thwarted at every turn by god. Not the real God. A false one which has been set up by man to expedite his destruction of the earth. He is the gobble-god who bids fair to swallow everything in the name of a totally selfish humanity.

His ten commandments are me first (let me live as I please), humans first (let all other living things die for my benefit), sperm first (no birth control), birth first (no abortions), males first (no women's rights), my culture/tribe/language/religion first (separatism/terrorism), my race first (no human rights), my politics first (lousy liberals/rotten reactionaries), my country first (wave the flag, the flag, the flag), and, above all, profit first.

We worship the gobble-god. We burn forests in his name. We kill whales and dolphins in his name. We pave prairies in his name. We set bombs in his name. We worship him everywhere. We call him by different titles and commit blasphemies in the name of worship.

We were given magic to use in creating wonder, and the gobble-god has sucked it dry. His followers reject mystery and madness and marvel. They cannot tolerate questions. They can believe any answer, no matter how false, so long as it is a certainty nailed firmly onto the cross of money . . ."

Sometimes I make myself crazy

2011-03-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

We had our QPEs today, which is another way of saying we had our employee evaluations today. They give us points for everything we do. Then they take away points for whatever we do wrong. They add them all up and then tell us how we did.

My supervisor tells me I'm doing great. No problem. Great. Great. Great. So how come I want to cry every single time I have to go through this. Not only want to cry, I DO cry. Not big crying, just little tears that I absolutely cannot stop. It's embarrassing.

Sure, I went down in points. I did something wrong, got some deducted. I'm doing great, so she says, so great. No big deal, right? Apparently not. Crying.

Is my ego so big that it can't take being told I screwed up? Is my ego so small that it can't take any feedback at all? I DON'T KNOW!

I do know that I don't like feeling weak. I know that really well. I don't like feeling small. I don't like being told I messed up.

I would really like to tell them to shove their stupid point system up their ass.

As far as I'm concerned, customer service means when the customer hangs up, they're fucking happy. If the customer is happy, or at least NOT pissed off, I've done my job and done it well.

So there.

Incredible Relief

2011-02-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was one of the worst of my life. Waiting to see if Sookie was going to die. She is well now, getting better and stronger every day and I believe that all is well. She has flown to me from her cage a couple times this week to cadge food and tonight sat on my chest while I was watching t.v. for an hour or so, grooming herself. I am so very, very happy. I love my girl.

Agatha Christie

2011-02-21T15:07:00.001-08:00

Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.

God doesn't bargain

2011-02-19T16:22:00.000-08:00

I wish he did. But I know he doesn't. What happens, happens. And no matter how much you might want to take back a day, an hour, a moment, you can't.